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Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Coyote

This little item showed up in my mailbox today:

This made up story is funny but apropos to all unnecessary, wasteful, and politically correct government bureaucracy, wherever it exists.


Coyote

California :

The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail.

A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the Governor.

1. The Governor starts to intervene, but then realizes he should stop because he is unsure whether the coyote is on the California state protected species list.

2. He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.

3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.

4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.

5. The running trail is shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.

6. The State Natural Resources Board spends $75,000 to conduct an environmental impact study to determine whether human presence is disturbing the wildlife and vegetation around the nature trail.

7. The State Parks and Recreation Department spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.

8. The California Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better prevent rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

9. The California Department of Justice spends $50,000 to hire a wildlife consultant firm to plan a specialized curriculum and provide the Governor's security detail with additional special training, re: avoiding violent confrontations with wild animals.

10. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against the State for inhumane treatment to animals. Many key state legislators support PETA, so the state settles out of court for $1 million.

Montana :

The Governor of Montana is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.

1. The Governor shoots the coyote with his State-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.90 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

2. The Buzzards eat the dead coyote.

And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Montana is not.

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