Aging Often Means Losing Those Around Us

Above, yours truly at a 2021 clamp-out with Glenn Thornhill (left) and Gary Julian
(right) in Quartzsite, Arizona. Fortunately both are still reasonably in good health.

The one unfortunate part of aging is that we see people we have known for years fall by the wayside. 

Abe Hoffman, who passed away last week from a sudden onset of leukemia, I knew since the mid-1980s. We camped together through 40 years of E Clampus Vitus clamp-outs. 

While talking with another longtime friend, Glenn Thornhill, about Abe's passing yesterday, he informed me that one of the guys we've hung out with since college, Mike Collins, passed away a few months ago. This was the first I heard of his passing. He was an avid model railroad buff. 

Psychology Today posted an article on aging which often means losing those around us. While many of us age "gracefully", some people we have known since the days of our youth aren't so lucky. This is something that is expected as we get older. Several people I've known for decades have passed. 

The article begins with:

When Nora Ephron’s son, Jacob Bernstein, wrote about her passing in The New York Times, he said,

“The thing is, you can’t really turn a fatal illness into a joke. It is almost the only disclosure that turns you into the victim rather than the hero of your story.”

He goes on to say that for his mom, tragedy was a pit of clichés that filled her books. While I normally try to take a light approach to topics I cover here in (R)Aging with Grace, this is one where it feels disingenuous to go there, as I am now in my 70s. My third trimester of life has so far been without incident, but all those routine tests and doctor appointments have me breathing a sigh of relief each time I get a “full speed ahead.”

We can look at aging in two ways: 1. Aging sucks, 2. Aging is a privilege. A paradox of living is that striving to age healthfully can lead to increased longevity, meaning you'll have more experiences with death the older you get. As we age, so do the people around us. This is just as much a part of the “aging is a privilege” perspective as any of the rest of it.

Living longer has both joys and consequences. We will lose friends and loved ones to accidents, illnesses, and, as we reach our later years, old age—though we desperately want to know the “whys” of old age losses, seeking answers on how to avoid them.

 To read the full article, go here.