During this past year, I have been thinking about my mom more than I had been earlier. It is not that she was ever away from my thoughts, I think about her every day. But the events of the past year made me keenly aware that I really miss her wise counsel.
If she were still alive, she would have been none too pleased that I became engaged to someone less than half my age. But she would have eventually accepted Denise, provided she was of good character. I remember her saying this about some celebrity who married someone half his age: "The age difference isn't what matters, what matters is the kind of character they have and how mature they are."
She was right. As things turned out, I fell for someone of, well, questionable character. Age had very little to do with what happened. She felt that someone else in my past was also a narcissist, so she might have been able to spot those behaviors and sound the alarm last year. She was a lot more canny about people than I am.
On problems with other members of my immediate family, she would have laid down the law and not tolerate any disrespect, but in her own quiet way. But she would make her displeasure quite clear. She would tell me what irritated her about family members. But something would have to be major to cause her to reach her boiling point.
She has been gone for seven years. At times her passing seems like it took place a long time ago, but at the same time it still seems recent. It is weird how the mind works in relation to the passage of time, especially when one is older.
Besides her wise counsel, what I miss most is her sense of humor. She could be blunt in her humor, but she would never directly insult someone. My sense of humor mainly came from her.
Those of my age are fortunate to have parents who are still living. They should enjoy and cherish them while they can. The rest of us have only the memories.
So, Happy Mother's Day to all!
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