Fall Platrix Picayune Posted

Above, the Keene Ranch is once again the clampsite. Photo by Armand Vaquer.

Platrix Chapter #2, E Clampus Vitus has finally posted the clampout edition of the Platrix Picayune. Some, I know, have been waiting with baited breath (meaning, they have a worm on the tips of their tongues) for the Picayune to be posted.

The doin's is happening October 6, 7 & 8.

The Platrix Picayune reads, in part:

LOS ANGELES—Speaking to a throng of print, radio and television news reporters from inside what used to be one of the ancient Lizard People’s underground tunnels in downtown Los Angeles, but is now the middle of N. Hill Street in front of the sadly neglected Fort Moore Pioneer Memorial, Noble Grand Humbug Richard Dougall explained why Platrix was once again headed back to The Tehachapi Loop.

“It wasn’t our first choice,” the beleaguered Humbug explained, continuing “but Lake Hemet fell through, not our fault. And our second choice, Live Oak Camp, also fell through because someone on their end screwed up their schedule. Our third choice, well it burned the hell down and is not available right now, so we are headed once again back to Tehachapi Loop, where I certify on my honor as a Humbug of our Ancient and Honorable Order that we will have one hell of a great time!”

Unfortunately, he was speaking to himself, as the reporters all left when they found out he was a Clamper, and not one of the legendary ancient Lizard People of Los Angeles as previously rumored. When he realized he was alone, Dougall wandered off muttering to himself, “Guess they’ll find out about it in the Picayune instead.”

For you bretheren who have not gotten word of the Fall Clampout, go here. (The secret codes will be asked before you can get into the website.)

For the rest of you, if you want to go, you will need to go through the rites of initiation at the clampsite. If interested in becoming a member, contact me.

If James Bond (the late Sir Roger Moore) can survive the rites of initiation, so can you!