Went To The Mortuary Today...Part 2

No, I didn't go back to the mortuary again today, I just remembered something that broke everyone up at our meeting on Tuesday, but forgot to put it in.

The question on urns came up. My mom's wish was to be cremated. The mortuary's chief of staff showed us several of varying sizes. She also had a form that I had to check-off on what to do with any extra cremains (their term for the "ashes"). I checked-off "return to family." This is in case all the cremains can't fit into one container.

After this, I asked if this one metal box would be big enough to hold all. She replied, "Yes, this is even big enough for someone your (meaning me) size." My daughter then mentioned, "But Grandma had osteoporosis!" I replied, "That wouldn't add significantly (if at all) to the volume of the cremains. The only thing that would add volume would be if Grandma were "The Elephant Man.""

That did it! She and Amber burst out in laughter.

I called Amber later and wondered if the Chief of Staff got through her handling the next family (who were waiting for us to finish) without thinking about our meeting and start laughing. That family was very much in emotional distress.

UPDATE (1/23/10):

A friend read my stories of our visit to the mortuary and sent this along:

Enjoyed your posting about your trip to the mortuary. My wife and I had a little fun (gallows's humor?) when I had to make arrangements for my mom. But in our case the mortician/salesman maintained a even, somber demeanor through the whole thing. The Mrs. and I were cracking jokes, while he was trying his level best not to smile. There was another family in the casket "showroom" who were really broken up and crying, so maybe our behavior wasn't appropriate, but we were quiet and sometimes a little levity is good. I remember asking the guy if the caskets came equipped with a phone.

It's good, you're taking Amber along through this. While no one can be prepared for this sort of thing, having gone through it before makes things easier.

Sometimes humor comes along at inappropriate and embarrassing times. At a funeral I attended, something happened that caused me to break out in unstoppable laughter. I couldn't stop even if my life depended on it. I had to think fast, so it got down low to pretend that I was crying. I don't know if it worked or not, but nobody said anything to me about it.

I remember going into one of those "casket showrooms" when I was twelve. We had to pick out a casket for my grandfather. While my parents were talking to the mortuary representative, I just wandered around looking at all the caskets in complete fascination.