Another Casualty

Above, Toy World in Greenbrae. Photo by Armand Vaquer.

This afternoon, after relaxing a while at the Marin RV Park, I decided to take a walk down to the local Trader Joe's store to pick up a few things. The store is about a block and a half away.

While heading to Trader Joe's, I spotted a Toy World store. I thought I'd take a look inside. Who knows? Maybe they might have some rare kaiju toys.

It turns out they didn't, but I browsed around the store. One item caught my eye. It reminded me of large scale (about 18 to 24") metal Tonka trucks I had when I was a kid. Only this was a yellow metal tractor. It was about the same size as the trucks I had. It was priced at $29. Reasonable!

Although the packaging said it was most suitable for children 4+, I thought Denise Santos's 2 1/2 year-old son would love it. He loves playing with toy cars.

Then I caught myself.

This made me think a lot while I was shopping in Trader Joe's.

Although we are still friends (to a certain extent), we had broken up following the Hawaii trip last month. The wounds are still fresh. I've read that it takes about three months for every year a couple had been together to get over a breakup. It hasn't been a month yet. We've been together for a little over a year. If that theory holds true, then I have about a couple of months more to weather it all. Since I don't lack any female company, the duration may be less. It is hard to tell at this point. But it certainly does help, I'll admit.

I could have bought the tractor toy for him anyway, but since things are still fresh, it doesn't feel right enough for me to do so. Denise may even disapprove, maybe not. Perhaps later, depending upon how things go.

This reminds me of the succeeding months following my mother's death in 2010. A few months after she passed away, I was working in Malibu and met actress Shirley MacLaine (I've recounted this meeting on this blog). After we met, my first gut reaction was to call my mom and tell her, "Guess who I just met?"

Then I caught myself.

I really hadn't given any thought about how our breakup would affect her son (or anyone else) until now. He made out pretty well by me during his last birthday and Christmas, along with bringing him along on our trips to Lake Havasu, Japan, Hawaii and other places. I don't know if anyone involved would (or could) admit it, but he, too, is a casualty of the breakup. That's something that every man should take into consideration before dating a single mother. Along with the mother, one can also get attached to their child as well. And, the child can also get attached to the man. This depends upon the age, personalities, situation, etc. If one accepts a woman who has children, they are accepting the whole package. What may be the after-effects of a breakup on the children? They may ask, "Where's so-and-so? Why don't we see him anymore?" Older kids may even think they were the cause. And so on.

It is funny how things manifest themselves when least expected. All one can do is just roll with it.

UPDATE (6/29/16): Since this was written, Denise decided that she would no longer bring Aiden along whenever we were to "hang out" together. Although she wanted to go out "as friends", I found this to be another excuse as she would have to find a sitter for her son, which is difficult. Her excuse was that her son is now talking and she didn't want him to blab to her family or to "baby daddy" John Cernas that she was seeing me. This I found to be ridiculous as I told her she has the right to see who she wants and it is nobody's business but ours. I earlier decided that being put into "friends-zone" would not work for me anyway and decided to cut off contact with her on June 21. So, it is just as well I didn't buy the tractor toy.